


Ordinary miracle

by UlsPi



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Depression, Love at First Sight, M/M, Magic, Snake Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23155528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UlsPi/pseuds/UlsPi
Summary: Crawly is a clever snake who befriends a sorceress one day. She turns him into a human but there's a price: he should never fall in love with a royal which he of course does.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the remarkable play by Evgeny Schwartz, "An Ordinary Miracle". I own nothing.

The Sorceress lived in the woods with her Wife and tried to be seen as little as possible. While Wife busied herself with their house and frankly stunning carpets and gobelins, the Sorceress would often walk into the woods and get lost there. That was how one summer morning she found a serpent. The serpent impressed the Sorceress with its size and, more importantly, considerable wit. They chatted for a while and then the Sorceress said:

"You need to travel the world, Crawly. You need to learn. Such lively mind deserves access to as much knowledge as possible. I'll turn you into a human. How does that sound?"

"Don't know. Never tried," replied Crawly. 

"Would you like to?" The Sorceress asked carefully.

"There must be a condition, though. There are always conditions with your lot."

"Clever thing. Well…"

"Make it something unusual, though." Interrupted Crawly.

"Alright… If a royal falls in love with you and kisses you, you'll turn back into a snake."

"Nah, too boring," argued Crawly. "Puts the whole responsibility on some royal arse."

"Fine then… if you fall in love with a royal, you'll turn back into a snake."

"That's more like it. See, I doubt I will ever meet a royal, let alone get to know them well enough to love them. Tricked ya."

"My dear, clever serpent. I'm looking forward to hearing about your adventures." The Sorceress snapped her fingers and behold, there was a lanky young man in front of her. His hair was red and his eyes remained those of a snake.

"Oh my dear… your eyes… can't chase away your nature completely, I'm afraid." She miracled a pair of dark glasses out of thin air and handed them to Crawly.

"Thank you… can't be called Crawly anymore, can I? Not that I actually crawl… Gonna be Crowley."

"Hello, Crowley. You are very fetching." The Sorceress smiled admiring her work.

"Hope not." He tried to walk and collapsed into the grass. "Legs… Major design flaw, if you ask me."

"You'll get used to it, Crowley." The Sorceress helped him to his feet. 

She provided Crowley with some money and let him go and conquer the world for himself. 

The Wife was furious. She scolded the Sorceress for months for ruining Crowley's life.

"And if he does fall in love, then what?" She pleaded.

"He chose it for himself, love. He agreed to it."

"So what? He was too excited… Everyone is excited in your company."

"I certainly hope not! I'm interested only in your excitement, wife."

The Wife eventually forgave the Sorceress and their lives went on. Rumours began reaching their remote home of a dashing young scholar, astronomer, alchemist, botanist, medic, who surpassed all his mentors and always refused to meet the royalty of the land. According to those rumours, the brilliant young man never got a hold of his legs.

***

Something was coming.  _ Someone  _ was coming, the Sorceress could sense it, she always could, besides… she had planned for something,  _ someone  _ to come.

"You have that face," the Wife remarked.

"What face?" Asked the Sorceress innocently.

"That face you have when you're planning something."

"Well… I'm afraid I have been planning something. I found the perfect temptation for our snake boy."

"No! No, you swore to me you wouldn't tease him!"

"Not teasing him, my love. Tempting, it's all. After all such deep connection, romantic or not, might be the ultimate test of his humanity."

"You can't test his humanity! He's brilliant, more than any human…"

"But!" The Sorceress raised her finger. "Is he sensitive? Is he open-minded, is his heart as generous and accepting as his mind?"

"You have too much power," said the Wife sadly. "You play with it like the gods of old. Maybe you used to be one of them, how would I know, the simple woman that I am."

The Sorceress kissed her partner passionately.

"You are the most beautiful, extraordinary creature in the world and I love you, and I bet you will enjoy my story!"

"Darling, this is not a story if you're telling it with living, breathing people."

"Perhaps I chose badly. Perhaps the royal would be a typical spoilt brat. Capricious and irresponsible…" They walked into their garden. Among the rose bushes stood a young blond man dressed in white, a gentle smile on his lips as he admired the flowers. He noticed the Sorceress and the Wife and blushed.

"I beg your pardon… see, I… I kind of ran away from the royal party and found your garden. It's the most remarkable place I've ever been to! But I apologise for trespassing." He bowed and looked at the roses with regret. 

"He's an angel… you brought an angel to our doors and you're going to torture him!" Whispered the Wife.

"If he is an angel, then a simple transformation can't change the course of his heart." Replied the Sorceress and turned to the prince. "Welcome, your highness. Pray tell me your name."

"If you know I'm a prince, then you know my name." The prince pouted, displeased.

"I'm afraid I don't. We lead a simple life here," replied the Sorceress in mock humility and winked at the Wife. She just rolled her eyes.

"I don't like being a prince, you see. Doesn't suit me… I'm too soft." He gestured at his form, indeed soft, his tummy bore witness to many a dessert. The Wife smiled tenderly.

"You look lovely," she reassured. "Please, tell us your name."

"Aziraphale, of the kingdom of Eden. At your service." He bowed again.

"That's going far worse than I expected," muttered the Sorceress. 

"Very nice to meet you, Aziraphale. Would you like to come inside?" The Wife invited.

"Oh… oh I'd love to! I'm starving actually, but I'm afraid my brother the king will soon notice my absence… he's very worried about me, poor sweetheart." 

"We can accommodate a royal party," said the Sorceress proudly. "Do come in. I believe there's some carrot cake left."

Aziraphale wiggled happily and finally abandoned the roses. 

***

The royal party found them soon after. The king, Gabriel, was a tall, square-jawed man with purple eyes that looked mercilessly at everyone apart from his brother. An unpleasant, sneakily looking man constantly stood behind the king whispering something in his ear.

"This here is Shadwell," introduced Gabriel. "He's the only one who knows how to travel…"

"But why are you traveling, your majesty?" Asked the Sorceress.

"Well… Shadwell, leave me alone and see to the rest of the court. If you cheat again, I'm going to execute you."

Shadwell muttered something and left. Aziraphale was far too busy examining the Sorceress' library to pay any attention to his brother's conversation with their hosts.

"See, this is my elder brother. He was meant to inherit the throne. He insisted he wasn't suited for it and I do enjoy the role of the monarch… But he's the kindest, gentlest, noblest soul you'd ever have the good fortune to meet! Unless there's a cake, of course… But we all have our weaknesses. Anyway, he became rather… melancholic. Couldn't find anything to occupy himself with. Even his books didn't bring him any joy. I made sure he had more books. Every traveler had to bring any books they carried with them to our place. But it didn't help, not in the least! The doctors told us that he might need a trip, something… some distraction maybe. They also recommended we look for someone called Crowley… We heard of him of course, but the arrogant bastard refused to come to us, so… so we decided we'd accompany Aziraphale and see the world together."

"Are you talking about me, brother?" Aziraphale asked with a smile.

"We are, Aziraphale." Admitted Gabriel.

"Then I'd better go outside. Explore the woods."

"You should," said the Wife with tears in her voice.

"Of course. Whatever you want." Gabriel said.

"Oh brother… Always so indulgent." Aziraphale kissed his brother's forehead and went out.

"See? He's an angel! I can't stand seeing him sad… although he seems much more cheerful here. I'm so grateful for your hospitality."

***

Aziraphale walked into the woods, smiling at every tree, bush and flower on his way. He kept walking, feeling light and happy and full of some sweet expectation. He hadn't felt so well ever since his melancholy settled in his mind and made him see everything in the worst possible way. 

He saw a wild apple tree and approached it as if it had been a scared animal. His impeccably manicured fingers touched one of the small fruits and he plucked it from its bow and bit into it.

"Must be really sour," said a voice near him. Aziraphale looked around and saw a man, not much older than himself, red-haired, dressed in black, skinny and with peculiar yellow eyes.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." Said the man. "Just… you don't seem like someone who likes wild fruit."

"It's… sour, but delicious nevertheless…"

"Crowley."

"Crowley. I think my brother wanted someone with your name as my physician." Aziraphale proceeded to eat his apple. The juice ran down his chin and his eyes twinkled and Crowley had forgotten how to walk, but it wasn't something new. He could never understand the process anyway.

"Your brother?"

"Yes. He's… very concerned with my well-being, you see."

"He'd better," muttered Crowley. 

"Oh, where are my manners? My name is Aziraphale."

"Hello… Aziraphale," Crowley tasted the name. He liked it. "Tell me you're not a king."

"Oh no, I was born to be one, but… gave it away."

"You what?"

"I gave it away! My brother is better suited to be the king of Eden… I'm no one of importance, I assure you."

"But still… a royal?"

"In a way. I don't feel like being one, to be honest."

"You… Alright…" 

Crowley was a scientist first and foremost, so he refused to rely on inner feelings or first impressions. 

"Why did you look for me?" He stepped closer.

"Oh, so you are the Crowley. I rather admire your books about snakes. You write of them as if you had been one."

"A-ha." Crowley replied.

"This is such a lot of nonsense! I've been sad and restless lately, and my brother thinks it's something that can be taken care of, you see. Poor, kind Gabriel."

"I remember his letter… You've got depression, Aziraphale."

"No, it can't be! I'm a… well, a royalty. Lots to eat, do what I want… no."

"It doesn't matter. Prince Hamlet had depression, and refused my treatment…. You know what became of him."

"Prince Hamlet was a noble soul… I am not, my dear."

Crowley gasped and took a step back. Black and red scales appeared along his neck. He touched them, scared, but Aziraphale appeared to have failed to notice them.

"You're not?" Crowley whispered.

"I'm not. My dear boy, are you alright?" Aziraphale came closer and touched Crowley's elbow. The scales crept farther, up Crowley's temples. Aziraphale still didn't pay attention.

"Alright. Yes. Always alright, me."

"It feels… it feels as if all of my melancholy disappeared, you know? Why don't we walk together?"

"Sure. Why not?" Crowley concentrated and sent all his scales under his clothes.

They walked and they talked, Crowley told Aziraphale of many terrible illnesses he had found a cure for and showed Aziraphale his rather morbid drawings of tumors and cataracts he had come by, and Aziraphale told him of his favourite books and music and food. Their conversation was easy, they might have been close friends for years, lifetimes actually. Crowley had to send more and more scales under his clothes but there seemed to be still enough space for them. His steps grew more uncertain though, and he got clumsier than ever, and stumbled several times, and each time Aziraphale caught him and asked whether he was alright. His serene blue eyes were concerned one moment and gleaming the next, his ridiculous clothes, far behind in fashion of any land Crowley had visited, fit him perfectly, and soon Crowley had to concentrate even harder to keep his legs from turning into a tail.

***

They returned to the Sorceress' house at sunset, as Gabriel became frantic with worry for his brother. Aziraphale stepped inside holding Crowley's now scaled hand and still failing to notice it.

"My dears," began Aziraphale with a happy sigh. "I've met someone…" He looked at Crowley and beamed. "Someone who's… so close to me, who knows me so intimately, although we met a few hours ago. This is Crowley, and he's… he's… dearer to me than any other person ever! He's better than a brother, closer than a spouse… my beloved, my cure, my…"

"I have to leave," said Crowley suddenly.

"Leave? But… my dear boy… what have I done?"

But Crowley didn't listen. He let go of Aziraphale's hand and walked back.

"Have I… Have I offended you, my darling, was I too… what's wrong?" Aziraphale turned to follow Crowley's movements. The famed physician kept walking back, black and red scales crawling up his neck and temples and down his body until his feet seemed to be glued together.

"Farewell, angel…" Crowley hissed. "Farewell, you beautiful bastard."

He was gone the next moment. The Sorceress looked shocked and the Wife wiped her tears with her apron, and Gabriel and his courtiers appeared lost.

"No!" Wailed Aziraphale. "No… I want… I want him back! Bring him back… bring him back…" Aziraphale fainted. 


	2. Chapter 2

Months passed. Gabriel's court had quite settled at the Sorceress' residence while Aziraphale remained in his room upstairs and refused to see anyone, including his brother. 

Gabriel tried his best, of course, but in the end he resided to standing by the keyhole of his brother's room and every now and then make sure that Aziraphale's letters followed Crowley along with various searching parties whom Gabriel had ordered to find the man and bring him back. The Wife took to leaving a tray with some food and water by Aziraphale's door, although no one could be sure whether he touched any of it or just fed it to the birds.

Gabriel was so preoccupied with his brother's state, that he didn't notice that Shadwell had disappeared. Shadwell had the misfortune to call the Sorceress  _ a filthy witch  _ and the Wife couldn't bear it any longer. She told her love about the incident and mentioned that Gabriel's court had been complaining quite a lot about the man's rudeness. The Sorceress turned the old bastard into a toad and everyone breathed easier, at least for the first few hours. Afterwards the sadness over the prince's deteriorating health settled in their hearts once again. The Sorceress didn't seem bothered, though, and her careful smiles gave the Wife hope that there still might have been a place for a miracle of a happy ending. 

One day Gabriel, per usual, spoke to his brother through the keyhole.

"Aziraphale, really… I know… I mean I can't know what it's like, but… I'm so worried about you, brother. Please, could you come out? I'm not sure you eat and drink enough to stay alive… "

"I appreciate your worry and sorry to have caused it," replied Aziraphale quietly. Gabriel was so surprised and relieved he fell back on his arse. 

"Oh… you're talking to me. Oh… I'm so glad to hear you! Hey, do you want anything?"

"I want Crowley," said Aziraphale from behind the door.

"We're looking for him, sunshine, we are! And we're sending your letters and we'll find him!"

"You won't though… I offended him. I offended him so much he ran away."

"I can't see how you offended him. We'll find him and drag him here and he'll have to stay with you!"

"He's not an animal, Gabriel. You can't force someone to love me."

"I can't imagine anyone living and breathing who doesn't love you."

"Shadwell doesn't," remarked Aziraphale with a chuckle. Gabriel was elated.

"You won't believe it but the Sorceress turned him into a toad."

Aziraphale actually laughed. It was bitter and not at all his usual melodious and mischievous laughter but it was better than sobs Gabriel had sometimes heard from Aziraphale's room in the last months.

"I'm afraid it serves him well." Aziraphale said.

"It does, it does…" Gabriel frantically considered his actions and decided to suggest something absolutely ridiculous and then let Aziraphale talk him down until they both would agree. It had worked before and although Gabriel knew that it might not work now, he was far too excited to think things through.

"How about we have a ball? You like dancing! And good food! And guests! We'll have it here, in the woods, in the garden. Maybe… it'll help you…"

"Gabriel…" began Aziraphale.

"It'll help me." Gabriel winced and kicked himself for playing the most effective card against Aziraphale. To his credit, he hadn't played it for quite a while.

"Then of course… I don't think I'll… but of course, my dear, of course. I'm sorry, I've been too full of myself and…" There was a sob. 

"That went down like a lead balloon," said a sardonic and somewhat hissing voice behind Gabriel. The king looked around. 

"How dare you show your face here?" He began and then remembered he had been working rather hard to make that happen. There was rushing downstairs and then the Sorceress, the Wife and several courtiers appeared at the top of the stairs.

"I'm proud of you," said the Sorceress softly. 

"Well, yeah, brought it all upon myself, didn't I?" He opened his cloak. The courtiers and Gabriel gasped in horror, while the Sorceress and the Wife smiled wider. 

The lower half of Crowley's body was fully snake.

"You look lovely," said the Wife. 

"I'm trying very hard to believe you." 

"Can it be Cr…" Aziraphale stepped out of his room for the first time in months. "It's you. You… you came back." His kind and intelligent face lit up, his smile returned to his lips.

"Angel, you're so pale." Crowley rushed to Aziraphale and held him.

"Ehm… let's leave now, alright?" Said the Wife shooing everyone away.

"Darling… I've missed you so!" Aziraphale sobbed into Crowley's shoulder.

"I missed you too, angel. I've received all your letters. You write so well."

Aziraphale chuckled.

"Come to my room, come, I'll show you all the books I've read, all about snakes." He hastily and tenderly wiped the tears off of Crowley's face, as his cheeks flushed with red scales.

"So lovely, my dear… so good." Aziraphale took Crowley's hand and pulled him back inside his room. Once there, Crowley held him again.

"I'm sorry, angel, it was selfish. I had to stay and help you but… but I won't be able to help, if I stay."

"You're helping plenty, my love." Aziraphale pushed his forehead against Crowley's. "Death came to me today, you know?" 

"No!"

"Yes. But I'm not afraid, you're here, you're with me. I tried being angry with you and I thought I offended you but… you're back, so you forgave me, right?"

"There is nothing to forgive, angel. I brought it all on us myself. I avoided every royal and I foolishly thought that in the end it would only matter if my love is a king…"

"Am I? Your love?"

"Of course you are, you idiot."

"I figured it all out, my sweet," Aziraphale sighed and laced his fingers through Crowley's hair. Crowley's hands on Aziraphale's back tightened. "And of course your tail is…"

"You're not disgusted by me. How is that possible?"

"I can't be disgusted by you. But tell me," Aziraphale looked Crowley in the eyes, uncovered and burning yellow. "How… are you cursed? Are you ill? Can't you cure yourself?"

"Then you didn't figure it all out, angel. I'm a snake. The Sorceress turned me into a human, so that I could travel and study. I offered the condition that… that if I fall in love with a royal, I'll turn back into a snake. I began spotting scales as soon as I saw you."

"Oh my sweet, tender darling… what shall we do then?"

"Right now I'm trying very hard to keep it all to my tail."

"Your tail is lovely. You're lovely. I love you so much, please, don't ever leave me again!"

"I'll be a snake. What use would you have of a snake? I came back to help you with your depression and…"

"You won't cure it, if you leave me. You're my cure."

"No, angel. It doesn't work like that."

"Yes, it does! It does!"

"You spoilt bastard, Aziraphale, I love you so much." He leaned in and gingerly kissed Aziraphale on the lips. Immediately his lips turned scaled and his tongue turned into one of a snake.

"Again. Kiss me again." Demanded Aziraphale trying to pull Crowley closer.

"You don't want to kiss a snake."

"I will decide whom I want to kiss and I want to kiss you! I want you to kiss me too."

Crowley was crying. 

"No, none of that, Crowley. Maybe sometimes we'll fight and you'll be cross with me and love me a bit less and then you'll be human for a few days. I'll be terrible, capricious, enough of a bastard to make you love me less."

"I can't love you less. I thought if I don't see you, I'll stop thinking of you, but my thoughts of you, just like my scales, they crawl all over my mind and… I dreamed about you one night and I woke up a snake. I couldn't get rid of the tail ever since."

"Darling," Aziraphale caressed Crowley's face, a trail of scales following his touch. "Crowley, my dear, beloved, beautiful Crowley."

"We won't be able to talk," he sobbed. His hands disappeared from Aziraphale's back and his arms joined his now snake body, so that only his head and neck remained human. Aziraphale's whined at the loss of the touch.

"See… it's… hurting you already."

"No, you can touch me with all of you. Do it." Aziraphale stepped back and sat on his bed. "Come here."

Crowley bit his lip and slithered into Aziraphale's lap, curling himself all around the prince. 

"There you are, my love. Can I undress you?"

Crowley nodded.

"I doubt I will be able to do it myself anyway."

"You can wiggle your way out of it just fine, my dear, but I want to undress you. And myself, too. And lie down with you and hold you."

"I should be able to… I can't refuse you a thing, angel." Crowley mostly hissed.

They undressed and lay down together, Crowley holding Aziraphale and Aziraphale gently running his fingers down Crowley's spine.

"Still with me, my dear?" Asked Aziraphale. Crowley nuzzled Aziraphale's neck with his snoot. He was entirely back into his serpentine form now.

"See? You're with me. Do you think you could write?" Crowley nodded and touched Aziraphale's soft skin with his forked tongue.

"We can still talk. And we can be together. It's all I want."

Crowley suddenly tensed, his scales crept down until he was human up from his waist. He quickly kissed Aziraphale and embraced him. 

"This is sweet, holding you like that… being like you, being your image. When I'm a snake, I miss you even more." The moment Crowley finished his sentence, the scales crept up back and he was a snake again.

"You'll be embarrassed of me," he hissed.

"I won't. I spent so much time without you. I'm happy with you and I love you so, so, so much."

He felt something akin to tears on his shoulder.

"Are you supposed to be able to cry, my dear?" Aziraphale chuckled fondly. "Love making will be tricky at first, but I guess it always is, and it will definitely be unconventional, so what? It's your soul I want, and your soul is beautiful, it's human, has always been." He kissed Crowley's head.

"Tearsssss issss the lasssssst of me, angel. Tears and voice-sssssss. If I don't concentrate enough, I won't be able to…"

"Then stop crying, my love."

But Crowley cried harder and harder, his whole body shook with his sobs.

"Sweetheart, my darling… none of that… only if it makes you feel better. I love you, I'll never leave you, unlike some." He chuckled again wrapping himself around his lover's body. 

And as Crowley cried and shook and clinged to Aziraphale, his body became more and more human, with only a trail of black and red scales down his back and a small spot of them on his shoulder.

"Oh dear… I must admit, it seemed far more dignified with you as a snake." Said Aziraphale. Crowley raised his head and looked at himself and his prince.

"Well… I was too occupied with moping to tell you how gorgeous you are." Said Crowley with a grin and laughed. "I don't have a bloody clue what happened."

Aziraphale blushed.

"I'm naked. And soft."

"You are absolutely gorgeous!.. you undid the spell, you idiot!"

"I'm going to miss your inability to speak," replied Aziraphale. "Get up this minute and we'll get dressed. I'll have to show you off to my brother… oh… no. I did that once and it was awful."

Crowley kissed his lips, his cheeks and eyes and ruffled his curls and tickled him.

"You're insufferable," said Aziraphale primly, but with a mischievous smile. "I absolutely adore you."

***

They walked downstairs hand in hand, Crowley as usual, with a very poor understanding of how pelvis and legs should work.

"It's all rather lovely!" Aziraphale announced looking at Crowley who conveniently hid himself behind his glasses. "This is my husband and I undid the spell and we're going to be annoyingly together and in love."

"I… I know," sobbed Gabriel, to everyone's surprise. "I eavesdropped. I didn't look." He sobbed again.

"Of course," the Sorceress said looking at her wife. "An ordinary miracle, just as I expected."

"We'll need that ball!" Gabriel sobbed out. 

"Oh no, no, no," said Crowley. "I can barely walk as it is."

"None of that, my love. I'm going to teach you to dance. What do you think of gavotte?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos make my day.


End file.
